Some thoughts about my life.

This week, I got to meet Erin Gruwell - the real teacher of The Freedom Writers!

If you have not read this book...

Or watched this movie...

...please cancel all of your plans and do so.

Erin Gruwell thought she was going to change the world by being a lawyer, until she realized that by the time people end up in courtrooms it's already too late. She changed her course and became a teacher. At the age of 23, she drove 45 minutes from her ritzy Newport Beach neighborhood to the east side of Long Beach to teach 150 students no one thought would graduate. She remembers her principal telling her, "I just hope these students drop out before the standardized tests so that they don't pull the whole school down."

Erin began teaching shortly after the Rodney King riots in LA, and in the aftermath of these riots there were 126 murders in Long Beach alone. Every one of Erin's students had been shot at. They told her they had been to more funerals than birthday parties. Most of them did not expect to graduate from high school. Their main concern every day was getting home to their families alive.

Erin used young adult literature and writing to free her students. When she came and spoke at Utah State this week, she said, "My students wanted to stand up for themselves and for justice, but they didn't have the words." Gang violence is all about people who feel like they have no control over their lives trying to control each other. So they can control SOMETHING.

Language gives people control. Learning to use writing to express yourself is so freeing. It's amazing what one teacher was able to do because she gave her students a voice and then listened to what they had to say.

After Erin spoke, my friend Candace and I hurried out to meet her before anyone else could get to her! She was one of the kindest people I have ever met. I told her that I felt like I already knew her because I'd read what her students said about her. When Candace told her we were going to be English teachers she got so excited/emotional and hugged us. She told us we would do a better job than she did because she didn't even know what she was doing. Yeah, I'm sure!

Erin wrote "To hope!" in the book I brought for her to sign

I think about teaching A LOT all the time, but especially this week. Not only did I get to meet Erin and write a million lesson plans this week, but I'm getting ready to teach in Samoa!  (Some parts of getting ready are fun, like getting my passport in the mail. Some are not, like getting vaccinations. My arms are a bit floppy today.) This week I got an email from the English Department Head at Pesega - the church school where I will be working. She said, "We're excited to use your writing expertise and would like you to give trainings for the whole English department." I started panicking. I can't train teachers! I'm not even a teacher!

I called my Dad and told him that there must be some misunderstanding about my qualifications. He said, "No, you have something to offer them. Let me explain to you what our schools are like." My dad has visited all the Church schools in the Pacific many times, and he told me that I already had more experience teaching writing than most of the teachers. Samoa's traditions are very orally based - they tell oral narratives, and writing is kind of a new phenomenon. Most of the teachers at the Church schools do not have degrees. Plus, writing is hard enough in your FIRST language. Could I write a research paper in Samoan? No. My dad told me that one of his goals has been to have more students from the church high schools go on to BYU Hawaii or other colleges, but that one of the biggest problems students face in going to college is that they cannot write well enough.

My dad told me about lots of other problems the students are facing and said, "You might see some really hard things."

Well..to hope! I'm going to spend the next few weeks going through all of my books on teaching writing, talking to other teachers, asking the teachers in Samoa for writing samples from their students...everything I can to get ready to do my best work. Like sweet Erin Gruwell said, I don't really know what I'm doing, but I care so much about these students and their teachers already. I only get a month with them, but I know I have something to offer.

Samoa!

So that is how my life is going. No one ever says, "Congratulations on your break up!" But maybe they should.

When your life falls apart, you get to rebuild it any way you want. There is something very freeing about that. There is meaning and purpose in my life!

When you have a loss in your life, it opens your eyes to all the other sources of love all around you. I am so lucky! I'm already feeling sad about moving out at the end of finals week because I love all my Logan friends so much! Moving out of apt 54...weird! But I'm so excited for the adventures we're all about to embark on!

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 This summer is going to be magical...so are the next few years. I can feel it! To hope!