And So It Continued Both Day and Night: Christmas 2012

One thing I love about college is being able to celebrate Christmas in two different places - decorating two trees, two sets of sugar cookies, etc. The night before my last final we had our apartment gift exchange.

This was a great kick-off to Christmas and I can't wait to get the uterus pillow Alexa has ordered for me.

We went to The Hobbit at midnight afterwards and I can proudly say that I still got an A on the final I took just a few hours after the movie ended. Then I was happily ready to head home to celebrate Christmas with all of my sisters! My family had waited to buy a Christmas tree until Abbie and I were home, so when we arrived there was just a tiny fake tree with a pile of presents under it, all wrapped in Justin Bieber paper. I was so happy to be home.

One of the highlights of Christmas this year was going to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert with my parents and Rachel. My dad gets tickets every year since he works for the church, but I have never gone before ever! I've never really cared about it before, but this year I finally realized...wait....this is kind of a big deal! People go through a lot to get these tickets and they are just handed to us! We have to go!

I'm really glad we did! Even though we were late and sat in the absolute top balcony, it was still amazing. And I loved having one last chance to see Temple Sqaure afterwards.

Christmas always offers a chance to celebrate my sisters' musical talents whatwith recitals and concerts happening all over the place. Janie is always the best dancer in her recital, and people who are not related to her have told me so. She is the only dancer in our family so it's just kind of a freak accident that she's so good. We make fun of her recitals, but really it wouldn't be Christmas without them.

I loved picking out a real tree this year with my family and decorating it together. His name is Norman.

Other celebrations that week included both my dad's and grandma's birthdays, as well as a party at the Fun Center for work. I am so lucky that my aunt and uncle always let me come back to work for them when I'm on break. There's no way to comprehend how much of my college life they have actually paid for. I was also lucky that I came back to work just three days before we all went laser tagging, mini golfing, and bowling.

I went to zoo lights at Hogle Zoo for the first time this year. It was beautiful but freezing. All of the animals were cuddled together sleeping which was cute. We gave our letters to Santa, and when I told Santa that I went to Utah State he said, "Good choice. I'm so sorry you lost your football coach today." He was obviously the real deal.

One of my favorite traditions is going caroling. I know it's kind of lame, but we make it a point to go to mostly old people so they always love it. The past few years Rachel has dressed up as Santa for it, which adds a layer of hilarity because she is the smallest person I know over the age of 12. We brought cookies along to make up for the making people stand on the porch awkwardly to hear us sing.

This year one of my favorite things was going ice skating at Farmington Station. Ice skating is so much more special outside, especially during Christmastime. Farmington Station was so beautiful with a huge Christmas tree and lights everywhere. There was even a water and lights show in the fountain that went along with Christmas music. So festive.

On Christmas Eve my mom had me come shopping with her so I could pick out the clothes I wanted. I loved having this time with just me and my mom and to be right in the middle of all the Christmas mayhem. After braving the mall and Barnes and Noble, we had to go to Smith's which was sooo crazy. There was literally not one single parking space, so we had to drive around slowly waiting for a space. During that time, we listened to this cathedral choir on the radio that was streaming live from somewhere. When the song ended, someone started giving a beautiful sermon about Christ's birth and a prayer that He would be a felt in a very real way throughout the world. That was actually a really special part of Christmas for me, because as we drove around the icy, crowded parking lot (there were literally no shopping carts left when we went in) I was reminded why we were doing what we were doing.

As always, we spent Christmas Eve in Ogden and had a great time opening pajamas, playing games, and singing to Abbie's guitar together. We drove through the Layton lights one last time on the way home and even though it was late at night there were a lot of other people there. Abbie, Rachel and I stayed up really late watching Christmas With the Kranks.

Oh yeah....Rachel and Lauren got footy pajamas. Spongebob AND One Direction.

For the past few years, one of my favorite parts of Christmas morning has been making the three little girls think that I'm never going to get out of bed. I can get them to do whatever I want at this point - have them sing me Christmas songs, put my slippers on my feet, you name it. I like to make them use all their strength to pull me out of bed.

the kids waiting for me to get up

Santa brought me a new camera and bright purple luggage. He obviously is excited about my mission. I think I am getting old because I like watching the little girls open their presents more than I like opening mine.

Jane's American G irl Doll!

I have really loved the snow this Christmas! We had a great day going sledding with our neighbors (despite a major collision which caused me to think my hand was broken for a couple of days)...

 ....this weekend we spent the day and evening at my Uncle David's cabin in a winter wonderland. We are very, very, very, very excited about the giant house he is building in the mountains which we include an indoor water tub with a waterfall going into it and a secret playroom with a rotating bookshelf as the door. Lauren and Rachel were almost crying when he was giving us the tour - I think they think we are moving there. Anyway, it was beautiful up there with the moon gleaming on the snow! We went on a 0 degree walk in the moonlight.

Rachel's album cover

Lauren on our late night walk

My sisters and our cousin's sweet little girls

We also got to spend a little bit of time with my dad's family this week. Most of it was spent guessing where Abbie and I will be going on our missions.

Lauren and our cousin Riley

Sometimes my favorite thing is being in the car with my sisters and listening to their conversations.

"Hey girl. I mean Dad."

"I wish girls could be Newsies."

"Rachel this is America." 

"I think I'm going to write a comedy of manners...."

"I never thought one of my children would utter that phrase."

Road trip

What a great Christmasy season. Happy New Year! 

Not Now, Arctic Puffin: December Happenings

We're only ten days into December but a lot of celebrating has been going on.

December began with me in this turtleneck. If that's not festive, I don't know what is.

Ugly Sweater Party

Also, Mallory came to visit! This usually involves fazookies and facials and the like.

And we went to the Fancy Pants Art Show. Thanks McKenna and Aubree for always having crazy awesome theme parties in your house. With gallery artwork and a live jazz band.

These are some of my favorite people. They make everything so much fun.

Alexa, me, Katie, Aubree, Lauren, Mallory

 Things got pretty Christmasy the next day. We put up our tree!

We made sugar cookies, listened to Christmas music and decorated our living room completely. There's a lot to look at in our apartment right now.

roommates...and Neil

I also got to help with the Festival of Trees this year. This is our tree for Saavi, which will be donated to a family in need in Cache Valley. I love spending time with other people who want to make a difference.

Another highlight of the month has been visiting our elderly friends, Polly and Keith. They always inspire me! I really need to start writing down their stories.

At the Williamsburg

Another highlight was going to the gallery walk on main street with Lauren, Alexa, and my sister Abigail. Logan definitely has the adorable factor sometimes. And afterwards when we watched Pearl Harbor because it was Pearl Harbor Day...then we had the adorable factor.

Alexa, me, Abbie, Lauren

This weekend the roommates and I took a road trip to Salt Lake to see the lights. I go downtown multiple times every year, and I will be there next weekend too, but it's still special to me every time. I always think of the line from Meet Me In St Louis: "Wasn't I lucky to be born in my favorite city?" Plus, last week was CRAZY for me with final papers and projects so I was really ready for a getaway.

We took Trax and went to The Gateway first, and I loved watching the lights change with the fountain show. So pretty! Then we walked to Temple Square and I swear every Mormon in the world was there. It was so crowded, but I actually liked that because it was exciting and Christmasy.

We watched the nativity and walked up to the Christus statue. When you look out the window, you can see the reflection of the Christus as if its floating above the manger scene. Above that is the temple. I think I am starting to get more missionaryish and thus more cheesy and emotional because I just stared out the window for a long time thinking, "This is a BIG deal."

The lights and trees in City Creek were also gorgeous, and we had a yummy late night dinner at Applebee's. I would say the night was a success, especially since we didn't die on the blizzardy freeway.

Waiting for the train

Temple Square

just a little snowy!

After we spent the night at Alexa's aunt's house (Thank you Aunt Phillis!), we got up Sunday morning and drove to Sandy for my dear Mallory's mission farewell.

Mallory has been such a good example ever since I met her. I'm so lucky that I got to live with her. She is one of the best friends a person could ask for, as evidenced by the hundreds of people at her house after her farewell. I'm so excited for the people in Texas who get to meet her!

I loved getting to talk with so many friends at Mallory's after-party. It makes me so happy that even though we've all gone our separate ways and are living in different towns, etc, we could all be there to support Mal together.

That night when we got back to Logan it was time for pajamas/Christmas movie night! What delightful people I live with.

I think one of the best December highlights for me has been having late-night living room talks almost every night. I am lucky to have good friends and roommates around. So thank you Neil and Cody for always staying up with us until 2 am for our late-night chats!

Mission update: My paperwork is completely done and it has been for a while. The stake president has everything ready to go, but since my availability date is May 4th, I can't submit my papers until the first week of January. So I will be calling the stake president on January 4th and reminding him to press the button.

Getting ready for a mission during Christmastime has been fun. It's weird not knowing what country I'll be living in next Christmas. My mom told me yesterday that they are waiting to put up the Christmas tree until Abbie and I get home, which will be a lot later than we normally put up the tree. I tried to say, "Mom it's not a big deal, you can put it up." "But you won't be here next Christmas!" I keep forgetting. That's pretty weird, but I've also loved seeing Christmas a little differently since I'm thinking about my mission every day. My life just gets luckier and luckier! Can't wait to see everyone next week!

Top-Notch Tuesday - I'm Going On a Mission.

Nothing could be more top-notch than that.

I have so much homework I should be doing right now, but my head is so full of thoughts that need to be written down before I start focusing on something else. So I'm sitting in the Artist's Block Cafe in the Fine Arts Building, waiting for my smoked turkey avocado sandwich and feeling like the luckiest person in the world.

After being on the waiting list for a looong time, I finally had my interview with the stake president tonight, which means my mission papers are completely out of my hands and I have nothing left to do but wait.

Just like in my bishop's interview, I felt like the stake president knew everything he was supposed to say to me. He said, "Because I've been blessed to be your stake president, Heavenly Father told me some things about you while I looked over your papers. You're going to be a powerful missionary; let me tell you why." I don't know how to explain it, but it was like he knew everything about me, but only as the best possible version of myself. Like he knew the person I could be.

 He told me that he knew I had a teaching heart, that my heartstrings are easily pulled by children and people who are less fortunate than I am. He told me that Heavenly Father knew that I wanted to use my education to bless others and that he would help people in my mission to see that. He promised me that even though the people I would teach on my mission would have fewer opportunities and life chances than I have had, that they would not be intimidated by my education because they would be able to tell that I didn't think I was better than they were. He told me that I was trustworthy and that I'd always wanted to be a good friend.

And then, very suddenly, he said, "Hilary, you will learn to trust people again. I promise you that you will be able to trust. And you will find yourself in the temple with someone who you are absolutely crazy about, not just someone who is good enough. I promise that you will be so glad it's him and not anyone else, and you will know why everything happened to you exactly the way it did."

As soon as we put just a small amount of trust in our Heavenly Father, he puts a tremendous amount of trust in us. I am humbled and grateful that He would even let me be a small instrument in his hands, that He would allow me to participate in His miracles.

I will be getting my mission call sometime in January and I have never been happier!

What Traveling Taught Me About My Own Culture

Once upon a time I was standing in front of thirty ninth graders in a classroom in Samoa. Their teacher had just said, "You can ask Sister Webb anything you want about herself." Most of them asked me about my favorite foods, if I played any sports, if I was married...easy questions like that. Then, one of the girls asked me...

"What ethnicity are you?"

I stumbled over every word of my answer.

"Um, I don't know, white? I'm just..American."

She looked confused/disappointed.

Later I realized I had told her my race and my nationality, but not my ethnicity. If I had been more on the ball, I would've said, "Scandinavian." But how often do I think about being Scandinavian? Almost never.

Because my race and ethnicity do not negatively effect my life choices and opportunities, because I am part of the racial majority in my country, I rarely had to think about it. My ethnicity had become invisible to me. But once I experienced being in the ethnic minority, I started thinking about the color of my skin a lot more. Because I stood out a little.

The same thing is true of my American culture. I have heard people say things like, "I wish I had a culture!" when they see someone performing some sort of ethnic dance or something. You have a culture. When you leave the United States if will be easier for you to recognize it.

My whiteness is showing...

For example, if you are American, chances are...

You value your personal space and expect privacy.

You have inhibitions about singing and dancing in public places that are not specifically designated for singing and dancing.

Most of the time, you use the word "family" literally. Your brothers and cousins are actually your brothers and cousins.

 You don't want other people to tell your children what to do. And you would freak out if someone else tried to discipline your kid, even if they were related to you.

You believe in personal ownership. If you paid for something, it belongs to you, not to your family or your community.

You've been taught not to "make a scene."

Within reason, you show physical affection to your significant other in public. Once you are past puberty, your parents know whether or not you are in a relationship.

You think it's okay for children to ask a lot of questions, including questions about why you're asking them to do something. You want your children to be able to make their own decisions and choose their own path.

You are obsessed with personal cleanliness and showering.

You hide your emotions. You usually don't tell people when they're annoying you or have hurt your feelings.

You believe fiercely in independence of thought and personal choice. Messages like "be yourself," "think for yourself," etc., are just part of your psyche.

Death makes you uncomfortable. You keep your distance from it, i.e. you would consider it inappropriate to take a picture of a dead relative at their funeral and your relatives are buried in a cemetery, not your front yard.

Your life is organized by routines and schedules, and you expect things to start on time and to go as planned.

When naming a child, you'd be more likely to try to come up with a unique name that not many other children have, rather than giving your child a name that is carried by other family members. This reflects your hope that your child will be his or her "own" individual person.

You expect your cultural needs to be accommodated. This is a sensitive one for me, because I would like to think I'm not like this. But the first time we went shopping in Samoa and they didn't have Bisquik? Me on the inside? "What the......? Aren't there other Americans on this island?"

You're an individualist. Individual needs are more important than group needs.

Every time I tell someone who is a both a boy and a Mormon that I've been to Samoa, they tell me that they had a Samoan mission companion. And usually they assume that all Samoans are just like that one companion. The conversation goes something like this.

"Oh you've been to Samoa? You probably ate a lot of mayonnaise there."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, well I had a Samoan companion, and he put mayonnaise on everything."

I don't think I ever SAW a jar of mayonnaise in Samoa. There is danger in overgeneralizing, in thinking that the traits of one person represent an entire race, culture, or nation. I say this because I don't want to do the same thing when talking about American culture. America, like Samoa, is a complex place made up of many different cultures. There are cultural variations among the different Samoan islands, and there are cultural variations between Utah and New York City, between southern California and Georgia. Not every single American fits into the list I just made, but traveling did open my eyes to the parts of me that have been formed by the culture I grew up in, things that seem to be "American." That's the list above. But I also learned what was assumed about me because I was American. I learned more about how others interpret my culture. 

To lots of people, being an American meant that I probably had an unlimited amount of money and resources, that I'd seen shootings and gun fights, that it wasn't safe for people in my country to be outside at night, that my parents were easy on me, and that I knew how to square dance.This brings me back to my mayonnaise point. It's uncomfortable to feel like people are assuming they know things about you because of your skin color. Many of the white people who visit Samoa spend their whole time at resorts and beach fales that cost $500-$600 a night, and they probably don't see a lot of actual Samoan life. It was uncomfortable to be automatically grouped in with that set of people, and to feel like it was assumed that my whole country lived that way. I didn't know what to think every time a small child asked me for money. They weren't asking everyone who walked by, and the implications of that are hard to swallow.

In Samoa, I had more than one boy say to me, "I've never talked to a girl like you before. You're the first white girl I've ever talked to." And I would say, "There's nothing special about being white." And they would just stare at me like, "Yeah right." That was uncomfortable too.

American influences in Samoa

Even though Samoa is now an independent nation, the effects of imperialism are still there. Less than 1% of the population of Samoa is white, but white people seem to take up a lot of space there. It's hard to explain, but maybe this example will help.

One our last Saturday in Samoa, we rented a car and had some friends drive us around the island to see parts of the south side we hadn't been to yet. We were looking for a good beach to swim at, and I mentioned a resort we'd been to before called Sinalei. As we pulled in and drove through the golf course, my friend kept saying, "Um, I don't think we can be here..." I kept telling him, "I PROMISE it's free to use their beach, we've been here before!" He finally parked and I started walking confidently through the fancy lobby out towards the beach. I turned around and realized that my friends hadn't followed me. They were standing at the lobby entrance looking so uncomfortable and even a little scared.

I had spent quite a bit of time with this boy, and I had watched him drive and walk around the island like he owned the place, yell across the street to practically everyone he saw because he knew everyone in town. I had never seen him look nervous about anything, and now he was terrified to walk through this fancy hotel lobby. I walked back to him and his sister and said, "Come on, I PROMISE it's fine," and pretty much had to drag them out to the beach.

Sinalei

Once they saw the beach and the dock they ooed and awed over it. I remember them saying things like, "Oh my gosh, overseas people are SO lucky!" We spent the next few hours swimming, but I could tell being at a place like this was not normal for them. (I remember my friend watching these two white guys kayaking and laughing at them because, according to him, they didn't know anything about rowing. He kept saying, "What the hell are they trying to do?")

The only other people on the beach with us were from Australia and New Zealand. The more I thought about it, the more angry it made me. Here we were in the middle in Samoa. And yet these people I cared about, who had lived in Samoa all their lives, felt like they weren't supposed to be on some of the most beautiful beaches in their own country. Not because of any written rules, but because they felt it wasn't their social space.

 We spent a lot of time with senior missionary couples in Samoa. They were VERY good to us and I learned a lot from them, but sometimes I disagreed with some of them about cultural differences. I can remember driving around the island one day and one of the missionaries saying, "Samoa is so different from Hawaii because in Hawaii all the beaches are public. It's illegal for people to charge you to go on a beach. But here? Everything belongs to the villages, so you think you've found this perfect beach, and then you walk onto it and some little kid will run out and ask you for five bucks. It's so ridiculous." The way she said it drove me crazy. The beaches are literally their backyards. Americans go to the islands and wonder why the people are not more capitalistic, why the country isn't developing tourism more quickly, and you're mad because they're trying to make money off of their land?

There are a lot of other instances of cultural clashes from my trip that I could write about. Moments that I've spent a lot of time thinking about. But I guess my point is....traveling should be about people. I have always had an intense desire to see the world, but I think my travel longings have changed a bit. I used to want to see landscapes and important buildings. I still do, but more than that, I want to meet people and find out how they think about the world.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I can teach my children and my students about culture. About their culture, and about respecting the cultures of others. But really, they will just have to travel for themselves! 

Please be a traveler, not a tourist.